Category Archives: Uncategorized

33

33 Y’all!!!!! When I was a child I imagined my thirties being a hot wife to a hot, tall, dark, and handsome husband with lots of adopted children, and traveling the world saving everyone that needed help. Those of you that know me can laugh now. My life has been one of the biggest shit shows you’ll ever read.  I never imagined my life like this. I never imagined any of my latest circumstances. But here we are….

My thirties started over from many betrayals, lots of abuse, and neglect.  A loss of income, loss of our home, and innocence of my children.  Everything I worked so hard for was gone.  My life savings.  My family.  The life that I deserved was never going to happen. Hopelessness had settled in and wasn’t going anywhere.  I spent a lot of time with God.  Mostly drinking wine and crying on the floor, but hey God meets us where we are.  And my God happened to be on the bathroom floor while I was wine drunk.  God is a big being and can handle it if you want to scream.  He/she/it can handle it if you’re losing it after putting your kids to bed.  And my God had to handle a lot from me. I was at the bottom and needed guidance.  And let me tell y’all, God is so good!……

I still spend time in the bath, drinking wine, and crying over my circumstances, but I spend a lot less time.  And that gives me so much HOPE.  I found love and even though I lost it that gives me HOPE.  My finances are the bomb and that gives me so much HOPE for our future.

I am starting 33 so hopeful of my beautiful future with my beautiful family.   My thirties didn’t start how I imagined as a child, but I am well on my way to ending it as that dream.  I can honestly say I am living my best life.  I know for a fact 33 will be my most favorite year yet.  I can’t wait to see what happens.

❤️-Brittany

 

“When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.” -Lolly Daskai

Am I good enough to share the gospel?

I grew up in church.  I remember as a child and through my adult years I would judge anyone who was on the praise team or in any position in the church that was less than perfect.  If you sang a song, played the guitar, or taught Sunday school to me you better not be seen at the bar or get caught having an affair…… Let us all laugh at that together.  If you read that and you agreed with my original view you are part of the problem.

 

There is a church in town I attended for about a year.  Well into my regular attendance I signed up to participate in a ladies event.  I was told that since I was not a member I would need to join the church first as it was part of showing a “commitment”.  I must have been silly to assume my regular attendance of Sunday school, tithe (they didn’t turn that away), evening services, and classes they offered was enough.  But because I didn’t technically stand in front of the whole church and say the sentence they wanted, then I wasn’t a member and since I wasn’t a member then being a part of any lady event wasn’t happening.  It just felt very stiff and unwelcoming to me.  Like I wasn’t part of the club yet until I pricked my finger and shared my blood. I rebelled of course to the idea and left the church.

 

Now, I am 32 and I would like to think a little wiser.  If we (the church) wait until we are perfect enough to share Jesus we will never share him.  And if we as a church put stipulations on events to share Jesus because you aren’t a “member” then we are missing prime opportunities.  If we as a church are saying you can’t sing on the praise team because your snapchat is a mess then we are missing it.

 

As someone who has done unforgivable things, stayed in low places, and has many problems I still have not overcome, I pass up a lot of opportunities as to not sound “hypocritical”.  I pass up sharing my God’s grace.  That just sounds silly.  I pass up sharing the grace that I take full advantage of EVERY SINGLE DAY.  The whole message of the gospel.  The idea that someone died for us as the imperfect beings that we are.  The ones with the language issue they’re working on, the one who at a low point had an affair, the one who enjoys too much wine too many times.  We say come as you are but then we divvy out assignments based on the perceived goodness of the person.  And the sinners like me never apply for any position.  Person A who has been a Christian their whole life and never got caught saying the wrong thing is given a ministry position.  Person B who has been a Christian a few weeks ….. again, but always back slides, we give a backseat.  We don’t want to put them up front for when they fall again, like we know they will.  And when person A falls, we remove them from their position.  We do this because the congregation has a fit when we find out about that affair, or we see them at the bar.  We do this because people are like I used to be.  Sitting and whispering and judging.  Wondering why they have the nerve to get up there when just last night they were seen vomiting on the street.  That is why we make people feel like they have to have their life together before they can help anyone else or share the love of Jesus.  We will join that outreach program when our marriage is stable and the shame of an affair has subsided. We will help in the children’s ministry when we have stayed out of a bar on a Friday night for over a year, and so on.  So, everyone is wasting away waiting until we are “good” enough, and that idea is the reason you live and die without ever sharing the gospel.  The same gospel that you believe will save you from a forever punishment.  You are keeping to yourself.  What a crappy thing.  We will never be “good” enough.  We aren’t God.  The best we can hope for is to be real about our struggles and help someone else.  Because pretending to be perfect doesn’t help anyone.  And sometimes the one thing that helps us turn our lives around is helping others.  Read that again.  And again.  Christians already have a reputation of being hypocrites and no one wants to share Jesus when we are failing, because then we are reiterating that idea.  Great, you aren’t known as a hypocrite.  You also are not sharing the whole reason of your existence.

 

Noah was a drunk who slept naked.  Sarah let her husband sleep with another woman and then hated her for it.  Moses had a temper problem.  Solomon who was considered very wise, was a sex addict.  And David was an adulterer.  These people were also considered game changers.

 

I am a Noah, Sarah, Moses, Soloman, and a David….. Let’s talk

 

If you don’t go to church because it is just full of “hypocrites” then you are judging just as much.  If you don’t have a church that takes you as you are keep searching and don’t give up.  Fairview in Falkville I would always recommend.  Milan  is a man who loves everyone and has picked me up many times when I failed.  If you aren’t sharing your struggles then you are missing out on making a difference.  Every single one of you can be a game changer.  Christian or not.

 

Always Love,

Brittany

Baileys Junior Cotillion

imageToday was Baileys first junior cotillion class.  As I watched him learn how to great a lady, how to seat a lady, how to do a business handshake, how to dance, and the rules on respect for everyone, I cried thinking how great of a young man he is.  I’m proud and thankful that his life will be easier than mine.  He is going to be equipped with all the tools he needs to have a successful life.  He is a Christian young man, he is honest, he is compassionate, he has empathy and integrity, he doesn’t pick on people, and he takes responsibility for his actions.  I’m trying to raise a good future husband, daddy, and successful adult.  In class I was reminded how valuable a woman is and just how much I have allowed people to devalue me.  How men are supposed to stand up when we walk into the room.  They are to cater to us, respect us, value us, and most of all protect us.  They’re supposed to make sure we are safe and warm.  Men are failing women and children.  Mothers are failing raising our children.  We let our children pick on others and judge others for their weight or looks.  We tell our kids about adult issues going on and mold their minds to judge and be disrespectful.  If our children are mean to someone we don’t like we think it’s ok.  It’s not right.  Why are we raising our children to be so average?  Like, if they aren’t in jail later then we have done a good job.  Life is a lot more than not getting caught being a bad person.  What about those that are horrible and not caught?  Ecclesiastes 4:10 Pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  In life we aren’t equipping the next generation to be decent human beings.  Therefore, we aren’t raising people to help anyone up now.  Our friends encourage lies, sleeping around, and doing anything to “make you happy”.  No one watches from a distance then offers a helping hand.  People are out for themselves.  Cotillion teaches that life is now about serving others.  I agree.  Be a helping hand up for someone.  Help families stay together.  Encourage others to give instead of just take.  Encourage strength in integrity.  Bring back respecting women cool 🙂 I really want my children to have a mate later in life with the same outlook.  Mothers and fathers stop making excuses for your children bad behaviors and lies and start caring about their soul and morals.  If you haven’t ever put your child in the junior cotillion class at Decatur Country Club I highly recommend it.  It is a great source to learn respect and manners.  It is a start in the right direction.  It is a really good wake up call on just how far we have fell over the years.

This Sunday will be the 12th Mothers Day I get to celebrate being a mother. I had my first born at 16. Left alone in the hospital every night to hold my precious son and cry alone. I made a mistake. I had unprotected sex. A mistake that I will forever be a sacrifice for. School and friends were no longer an options. At 16 I had set myself for a life of failure. Pressured into abortion, that wasn’t an option for me. I chose to try and right my wrongs the best I could. I loved this little boy with every once of my being and from the day he was born I failed him. It wasn’t fair he was born to a mother with a failed education. I had the hopes, dreams, and love down. I didn’t mind sacrificing my life for him. I had no problems never seeing anyone from school again. I chose him. I chose a life of struggle and pain with him over a life chasing my goals and proms and friends without him. I begged God for a decade to send supernatural favor and opportunities to us bc I had no way of going after them on my own. I prayed over my children and I am very proud of my parenting. My failures to some wouldn’t matter. Love is more important than money they will say. But I want more for them. I wanted land for them to roam and something to pass down. Being a mother so young cripples you. I’ve always had big dreams in my spirit. Bigger than this. How is someone to be the only emotional support for her children, uneducated, and stretched for time to give more to them? Are they forever set back because their mother made unwise decisions? When I had children I had them so I could be their mother. Not someone else. I feel no opportunities here for us. Just 9-5 barely getting by. Paycheck to paycheck. I can’t go back and do life the right way. I don’t want my children to be a statistic because of my mistakes that essentially made life harder since day one. Children of single mothers have a higher rate of drug use, teen pregnancies, etc. because mommy has to work twice as hard. Our personal relationships have a very low success rate because of age. Therefore, our children are raised in broken homes. If we don’t have grandparent help by the time we pay daycare and buy lunch were short $50 at the end of the week. We have the same dreams and hopes for our children any wealthy person has. We just have more heartbreak knowing that unless we have a miracle it won’t happen for our children. We can’t give our kids Disney memories. We can’t give them the education they deserve. I want so much more for them! I want a better education, a higher standing of peers, difference makers that they can grow up with and call on when they’re older to invest in their ideas or help them get a good job through connections. I don’t want mediocre for them. It’s not their fault they were born with the odds against them. The biggest mistakes I made in life are the ones where I believed in someone else and the lies they fed me. Where does that leave me now? A statistic? Absolutely. So far I have raised my children well. They’re good people. To me that’s most important. I have raised boys who are morally sound, gifted, good children without any moral support, more stones thrown than anyone deserves, more lies spread than my children deserve to hear, and more broken promises I can count. I have shown my children good integrity. I have also apologized and asked forgiveness when I didn’t show them that. I live my life through humor and other than my blog don’t open up. Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers! I encourage anyone that owns a business or that’s in a position of power to invest in those mothers. The ones willing to hustle and the dreamers of their children’s future. Invest in them so that their children not be a statistic. So that for generations their children can be blessed. We can always hirer the qualified. I challenge you to hire an unqualified dreamer and make a difference. XoXo

START 2015 OFF RIGHT

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I love reading all the New Years resolutions on my news feed.  I don’t know about you but I hate all the negativity of people assuming you won’t achieve your goals.  I don’t make big goals but this year I am determined to stop biting my nails and as always to continue taking better care of myself.  As I get older my idea of beauty becomes more of health.  Healthy hair, nails, teeth, and skin is more beautiful to me.  Although I can fake almost anything with makeup 🙂 or hair products.  I have gotten a lot of emails asking what products I use.  Here are my basics.

 

Nails- My nails are in bad shape from biting and acrylic so Im using NO BITE and that keeps them out of my mouth and NAILTIQUES to repair the damage, and JOSIE MARAN on the cuticle.

Face- I have a simple skin routine.  I use CERAVE or PURPOSE to cleans.  JOSIE MARAN as a moisturizer, KORRES BRIGHTENING SLEEPING FACIAL at night.

Hair- My favorite hair product ever is HERBAL ESSENCE CLEANSING CONDITIONER!  If you’re a fan of WEN or the no poo method I recommend this.  If you’re used to regular shampoo it takes some getting used to but it smells amazing, its not damaging, and doesn’t strip your hair of your natural oils.  I use MACADAMIA NATURAL OIL every two weeks or really when I think about it.  My hair has become so much healthier!

Body- I only use PURPOSE soap.  Its $3.24 a bar at Walmart and difficult to find but I have sensitive acne prone skin and if I use anything else I will break out.

Lips- JOSIE MARAN ARAGAN OIL bc I lose any lip products I buy after a week.

Here is to my NEW YEAR with hopefully beautiful natural nails!

The life and times of my pubic hair

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In honor of No Shave November….

According to a study by Indiana University almost half of women in their 20’s remove all of their pubic hair.

Compare any nude magazine from today and twenty years ago. Whats the difference? Pubic hair. It’s no where to be found. Endangered pubes, as I like to think of it. As wearing less clothes, shorter shorts, and thongs have grown to be popular, so has removing pubic hair. You can shave it, pluck it, cream it, wax it, tweeze it, or laser it off. When you’re done with that you can even bedazzle it. When I was a kid we bedazzled our shorts and added some crystals to make those denim cut offs sparkle. At no point would I ever think women would be doing it to our vaginas. I guess I just have a boring vagina. I don’t think any amount of sparkle could make a vagina pretty.

I don’t ever even remembering having pubic hair as a teen. From as far back as I remember I have wasted hours, bandaids, and money removing all the hair from my neck down. I too wanted to look like the girls in the magazines. Through puberty, my wild years, to blowing my vagina out 3 times, my main concern if my vagina was going to come out and say “hi” was that it was bare. Don’t worry about the pain of going into labor. First, lets get in the shower and clean that shit up before we head to the hospital.

Granted some women trim their pubes and have a pretty landing strip.  I personally am too lazy and don’t have the time.  If I even tried to waste time tidying up down there I can guarantee a kid will come in crying and I would be left with uneven sideburns.  Not to mention the Harry Potter lightening bolt scar I have above my vagina from childbirth.  Hair doesn’t grow in scars.  “Yes. That ain’t no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry.  A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse, and an evil curse at that.”—Rubeus Hagrid to Harry Potter
I would have to replace forehead with vagina and laugh at its truth.  The evil curse of childbirth.  Oh the joys.  Everyone loves Harry though right?

I don’t ever see us going back to the hairy days.

I even walk in on my mom in the tub, legs in the air, Nair down there. My mom who hasn’t seen a man naked in 8 years, since my father, and who probably never will see a man naked again. She is more kept than me this No Shave November. My mom who does not have sex keeps herself more kept than me, her daughter, who to be honest has seen more naked men than I would like to admit. That being said I have never heard of a man turning a woman down because she hasn’t shaved. Ive heard them talk about it later, but never turned it down.

Over the years I have tried many hair removal techniques.

Brazilian Wax (removal of all hair)-
If you have ever had a brazilian wax then you have had the thoughts about trying to bring pubes back in style. The idea of putting a hot wax on your lady parts and ripping hairs out is insane. The closer you get to the middle the worse it gets. They give you ibuprofen and use numbing cream that doesn’t work. I suggest waiting until you’re completely wasted. We all know when we’re wasted we don’t know who’s down there or what they are doing anyways. I would rather have children than to go through the torture of a brazilian. It was smooth like a baby bottom if you could even touch it from the trauma and pain. If you do this you better do it for yourself bc you won’t want anyone or anything near your vagina for a while. I remember calling my mom in pain. “Mom, Why would people do this regularly? Like why? Im going to bring the bush back! Thats right. Im going to make my life mission to bring back the bush!” as I sat on my couch with no pants on and a bag of peas on my vag. I hung up the phone and apologized to my vagina for the unecessary hell I brought upon it.

Shaving-
Watching me shave has to be entertaining. Especially while pregnant. You can’t see what you’re doing. You just have one leg up in the shower and hope to God you don’t accidentally cut a lip off. Unless you’re on your third child then you wouldn’t mind if a little lip got cut. If you’re trying to just clean up your vagina and not all bare it’s a challenge. Too much off the right, then you have to remove more off the left, then too much again, and pretty soon I just get fed up and take it all off. We poke fun at those who draw on their eyebrows but 30 min in the shower trying to have a landing strip and I too wish I could just draw it on.

Cream removal-
If you have tried the torture technique of Nair you might as well pour some acid on there. I assume the smell and pain would be the same. I haven’t tried it.  Although, I recently was told it is the best way to get the hair around your brown eye.

Laser-
I haven’t ever had laser bc I’m a single mom of three and my small people take any leftover pennies I have. If I had extra pennies I don’t know if I would spend it up-keeping my vagina that no one will see or appreciate. My kids seeing me nude won’t appreciate the time and effort put in up-keeping the bush. They will however appreciate the braces they have, the new Mario game, and gas to get to and from their activities. So, trying laser will have to wait until I’m rich and give a damn.

Tweezing-
I don’t know why anyone would try to mow their lawn with scissors. Enough said.

But why do we do it? Do we honestly do it for ourselves or the generation of men we date who have spent their lives watching porn with completely bare, unrealistic women? Are we as a generation trying to have the perky D’s and the 25 inch waist? The long hair and the big lips. Are we doing it for ourselves and our self esteem or just pushing the notion that women are to be seen and not heard. Something pretty for your lover to appreciate and unwrap.

I never put much thought into my grooming habits until I had my daughter. When she is 12 years old and puberty has taken over, will our generation as mothers teach our daughters to groom down there? Do we teach them to leave it as is? At that thought I was actually ashamed to be bare. I felt like a horrible example of a real woman. As she gets older I imagine like most of society she will become that girl. That bare girl who in 35 years will look back like me and never even remember having pubic hair. I decided that I would stop wasting time torturing myself. If even for a moment. I wouldn’t shave, wax, laser, or pluck myself. I too would participate in No Shave November. I proudly step out of the shower unkept. Somewhere along the way we have been programmed to think natural isn’t beautiful. We color our hair, wax our brows, get our nails done, enhance our breast, and try to teach our daughters they’re beautiful the way they are. While our actions, even as little as our pubic hair prove otherwise.

So….
What are your thoughts? What are you teaching your daughters?
Are we raising the next generation of women who are to look like unrealistic porn stars which raises them to be looked at as sexual objects? If you shave do you feel like you’re perpetuating that stereo type.

Disclaimer: It does not look like Afroman

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